Today, April 10th, is our 6th wedding anniversary, or our “sugar” anniversary according to British tradition. I decided that today I would share a couple of things from our wedding that will give an insight into the Baha’i wedding ceremony.
Firstly I have a video of our friend Rob Weinberg introducing the ceremony and explaining what marriage means in the Baha’i Faith. Below this I have published the prayers and readings that we chose to have read at our wedding. The only obligatory part of a Baha’i wedding is the wedding vow itself, which is “We will all, verily, abide by the Will of God”, everything else the couple may choose for themselves. The vow itself may seem very simple, but as Rob explains in the video, it has a lot of meaning…
The Bahá’í Wedding Ceremony of
Miss Ladan Davarpanah
&
Mr James Herbert
_____
O God, my God! These are Thy feeble servants; they are Thy loyal bondsmen and Thy handmaidens, who have bowed themselves down before Thine exalted Utterance and humbled themselves at Thy Threshold of light, and borne witness to Thy oneness through which the Sun hath been made to shine in midday splendor. They have listened to the summons Thou didst raise from out Thy hidden Realm, and with hearts quivering with love and rapture, they have responded to Thy call.
O Lord, shower upon them all the outpourings of Thy mercy, rain down upon them all the waters of Thy grace. Make them to grow as beauteous plants in the garden of heaven, and from the full and brimming clouds of Thy bestowals and out of the deep pools of Thine abounding grace make Thou this garden to flower, and keep it ever green and lustrous, ever fresh and shimmering and fair.
Thou art, verily, the Mighty, the Exalted, the Powerful, He Who alone, in the heavens and on the earth, abideth unchanged. There is none other God save Thee, the Lord of manifest tokens and signs.
- ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
_____
Know thou of a certainty that Love is the secret of God’s holy Dispensation, the manifestation of the All-Merciful, the fountain of spiritual outpourings. Love is heaven’s kindly light, the Holy Spirit’s eternal breath that vivifieth the human soul. Love is the cause of God’s revelation unto man, the vital bond inherent, in accordance with the divine creation, in the realities of things. Love is the one means that ensureth true felicity both in this world and the next. Love is the light that guideth in darkness, the living link that uniteth God with man, that assureth the progress of every illumined soul. Love is the most great law that ruleth this mighty and heavenly cycle, the unique power that bindeth together the divers elements of this material world, the supreme magnetic force that directeth the movements of the spheres in the celestial realms. Love revealeth with unfailing and limitless power the mysteries latent in the universe. Love is the spirit of life unto the adorned body of mankind, the establisher of true civilization in this mortal world, and the shedder of imperishable glory upon every high-aiming race and nation.
- `Abdu’l-Bahá
_____
He is God!
O peerless Lord! In Thine almighty wisdom Thou hast enjoined marriage upon the peoples, that the generations of men may succeed one another in this contingent world, and that ever, so long as the world shall last, they may busy themselves at the Threshold of Thy oneness with servitude and worship, with salutation, adoration and praise. “I have not created spirits and men, but that they should worship me.” Wherefore, wed Thou in the heaven of Thy mercy these two birds of the nest of Thy love, and make them the means of attracting perpetual grace; that from the union of these two seas of love a wave of tenderness may surge and cast the pearls of pure and goodly issue on the shore of life. “He hath let loose the two seas, that they meet each other: Between them is a barrier which they overpass not. Which then of the bounties of your Lord will ye deny? From each He bringeth up greater and lesser pearls.”
O Thou kind Lord! Make Thou this marriage to bring forth coral and pearls. Thou art verily the All-Powerful, the Most Great, the Ever-Forgiving.
- `Abdu’l-Bahá
_____
He is the Bestower, the Bounteous! Praise be to God, the Ancient, the Ever-Abiding, the Changeless, the Eternal! He Who hath testified in His Own Being that verily He is the One, the Single, the Untrammelled, the Exalted. We bear witness that verily there is no God but Him, acknowledging His oneness, confessing His singleness. He hath ever dwelt in unapproachable heights, in the summits of His loftiness, sanctified from the mention of aught save Himself, free from the description of aught but Him.
And when He desired to manifest grace and beneficence to men, and to set the world in order, He revealed observances and created laws; among them He established the law of marriage, made it as a fortress for well-being and salvation, and enjoined it upon us in that which was sent down out of the heaven of sanctity in His Most Holy Book. He saith, great is His glory: “Marry, O people, that from you may appear he who will remember Me amongst My servants; this is one of My commandments unto you; obey it as an assistance to yourselves.”
- Bahá’u'lláh
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The Bahá’í Marriage Vows
James: “We will all, verily, abide by the Will of God”
Ladan: “We will all, verily, abide by the Will of God”
_____
This will be chanted in Persian, below is an English translation of the prayer:
O my Lord, O my Lord! These two bright orbs are wedded in Thy love, conjoined in servitude to Thy Holy Threshold, united in ministering to Thy Cause. Make Thou this marriage to be as threading lights of Thine abounding grace, O my Lord, the All-Merciful, and luminous rays of Thy bestowals, O Thou the Beneficent, the Ever-Giving, that there may branch out from this great tree boughs that will grow green and flourishing through the gifts that rain down from Thy clouds of grace.
Verily Thou art the Generous, verily Thou art the Almighty, verily Thou art the Compassionate, the All-Merciful.
- `Abdu’l-Bahá
_____
Glory be unto Thee, O my God! Verily, this thy servant and this Thy maidservant have gathered under the shadow of Thy mercy and they are united through Thy favour and generosity. O Lord! Assist them in this Thy world and Thy kingdom and destine for them every good through Thy bounty and grace. O Lord! Confirm them in Thy servitude and assist them in Thy service. Suffer them to become the signs of Thy Name in Thy world and protect them through Thy bestowals which are inexhaustible in this world and the world to come. O Lord! They are supplicating the kingdom of Thy mercifulness and invoking the realm of Thy singleness. Verily, they are married in obedience to Thy command. Cause them to become the signs of harmony and unity until the end of time. Verily, Thou art the Omnipotent, the Omnipresent and the Almighty!
- `Abdu’l-Bahá
_____
In this glorious Cause the life of a married couple should resemble the life of the angels in heaven – a life full of joy and spiritual delight, a life of unity and concord, a friendship both mental and physical. The home should be orderly and well- organized. Their ideas and thoughts should be like the rays of the sun of truth and the radiance of the brilliant stars in the heavens. Even as two birds they should warble melodies upon the branches of the tree of fellowship and harmony. They should always be elated with joy and gladness and be a source of happiness to the hearts of others. They should set an example to their fellow-men, manifest a true and sincere love towards each other and educate their children in such a manner as to blazon the fame and glory of their family.
- `Abdu’l-Bahá
_____
Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place
To enter into the days of your togetherness
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
- Apache wedding prayer (not Bahá’í)
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The Undiscovered Brain (revisited)
March 12, 2010 in Comment, Ladan | 1 comment
Firstly this article appeared in The Guardian last November about Rom Houben, a man who laid for 23 years, assumed to be in a Persistent Vegetative State (PVS), the state of being unaware of everything around you, oblivious to the world, when in fact he was hearing everything. A neurologist at the University of Liège (Dr Steven Laureys) examined him with new scanning technology and found that his brain seemed to be working quite normally. Most of the article continues to talk about an ability to communicate that was also thought to have been found, which it is now thought was a mistake, but a notable point comes toward the end of the write-up. The Guardian article quotes Dr Laureys, who is very experienced in these cases, as saying that of 44 patients he examined who were diagnosed as being in a vegetative state, 18 of them responded to communication. Furthermore, while it is not uncommon for patients with reduced levels of consciousness to have as little as one assessment by a professional which will determine their diagnosis, Steven Laureys said that such patients should be tested ten times, and that such states were like sleep, having varying stages which need to be monitored. This is an observation that I fully support from my experience with Ladan, there are times when Ladan is clearly out of it, there are times where there seems to be some very basic responsiveness to what is happening around her, often including to actual words being said, and then there are much less frequent occasions where for about 30 seconds or so she can interact with her eyes. There is a clear difference even in Ladan’s appearance when she is in the most responsive state but it would be impossible to make a plan that would ensure an expert examined her or scanned her during such an infrequent opportunity, even if she was tested ten times that moment would probably not be caught, but such a policy would probably suffice to catch Ladan at a time that she wasn’t at her least responsive. Luckily for Ladan she was found to have a degree of awareness on her second clinical neurological examination, but it could have taken more. The more accredited professionals do generally maintain that there is no sure test that can prove an individual is not aware of what is happening around them, all the tools that science has can only help to make an educated guess and, more importantly, attempt to discover if somebody is suitable for a programme of rehabilitation. Unfortunately finding some degree of awareness is not in itself sufficient for finding a rehabilitation method.
In this blog post a few years ago I referred to a study in Cambridge that, in the long term, may offer hope of rehabilitation techniques to the least able of minimally conscious patients, as well as uncover signs of consciousness in patients otherwise held to be in the persistent vegetative state. I also looked at some of the potential dangers of misdiagnosis of PVS. That posting referred to a study by a team in Cambridge, including Dr Adrian Owen, in which a woman who was thought to be in a persistent vegetative state was asked to imagine playing tennis while she was scanned using a relatively new technique (fMRI) with an MRI scanner. The resulting changes in the images on the scan were much the same as the changes witnessed in a fully conscious individual carrying out the same request.
At the beginning of February Channel 4 News ran a story about further research into this technique by teams led by both Dr Adrian Owen from Cambridge and Dr Steven Laureys from Liège. Again taking a patient formerly thought to be in PVS, the same request of imagining playing tennis was made to the patient but this time it was to be used by the patient as a tool to indicate yes or no responses to questions.
“It works like this,” Dr Owen said, explaining the idea in this Sunday Times article back in 2007, “Say you have a patient who responds positively, with proven volition, to the command ‘Imagine you’re playing tennis.’ You can then progress to an easy yes-no response.” [...] “To coin a phrase, it’s a no-brainer. If the answer to a question is yes, the patient thinks of playing tennis; if it’s no, the patient doesn’t think of playing tennis.”
Below is a news clip from Channel 4 News adding a little more detail about the successful experiment:
Where this technique is currently going to be most important is where it will make a difference to the long term plans for the patient. Here in North-East England the policy of medical and care staff is – as I understand it – to act on the assumption that even somebody thought to be in PVS may actually be aware and understanding everything around them, obviously there is no extra harm that will come from talking to somebody who can’t hear you, but it is not kind to completely ignore somebody who is fully aware of everything you are saying. Ladan is known to have some awareness and the nursing home she is in would, as a rule, treat her on that assumption even if she had been diagnosed as being completely unaware, but still I get disheartened when occasionally a carer will come into her room and assist with her needs without saying so much as a “hello” to her. I cannot imagine how much the frustration of being unable to communicate would be made worse for an individual diagnosed as being in a persistent vegetative state if it was acceptable to ignore them as a matter of policy because of their misdiagnosis. But beyond the doctors and carers there are – of course – the families, and a black and white misdiagnosis of PVS may make them even more likely to just stand and stare at a relative who would actually love to hear them talk to them. Dealing with trauma in a family is difficult enough as it is, if a family are informed through a misdiagnosis that their presence cannot possibly be known to their loved one, then the chances of the patient losing the support of their family must be greatly increased. It is important that families are not given assumptions of probability as fact, they have tough decisions to make ad should know the full picture, even if that picture is full of ”probably not“s and “we don’t know“s, rather than definitive statements.
It should be noted that finding the ability to communicate with an individual formerly misdiagnosed as being in PVS is rare, even when some degree of awareness is found it is not usually a guarantee that they fully understand everything that is going on around them. It is possible that somebody who can communicate in a scanner may also not be fully aware of what condition they are in, though they may even falsely believe themselves to be, but what this offers, even at its most basic, is access to more facts upon which assumptions about a brain may be based. At its best it gives a patient a voice, though possibly not a say, in decisions over how they should be treated.
Looking into the future, these discoveries may help to provide rehabilitation techniques to those people in minimally conscious states who cannot react with the outside world in a consistent way. Current rehabilitation techniques need something to hook onto, a consistent physical response, such as a finger that the patient will almost always move when requested. fMRI is still a relatively rare and very expensive facility, but it offers that ‘something’ to hook onto in patients who have a reaction that shows up in the scanners imaging, and that means that either by using fMRI scanning regularly as part of a rehabilitation programme, or by finding other ways to detect the responses that using fMRI scanning has uncovered, the potential exists for a greater number of individuals who fall into a minimally conscious state to embark upon a programme of rehabilitation.
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Tags: brain, consciousness, fMRI, Ladan, mcs, pvs