In this section you will find my blog posts relating to Ladan. For the story of what befell Ladan in 2004/2005 
As many readers will know, my wife Ladan – who is in a minimally conscious state – became seriously ill on the night of 17th October (Wednesday) and I was also shocked the following morning by the news that my good friend Manoocher was in a serious car accident at much the same time that Ladan became unwell. I was contacting Diana (his wife) and other people to find out what was going on. I soon became reassured that Manoocher was doing well and that his manager, Bryan, seemed to be doing a sterling job of looking after his needs. But it was reported to be a very serious accident
A few days into our hospital stay I also had a little car crash of my own, I was driving up toward a junction on an A road where the oncoming traffic can turn across the main carriageway onto a central motorway when the road is clear or the traffic lights display a green arrow. The lights were green for me and I saw a car pull up to the lights in the lane for turning across me ahead. Having two sets of lights green in front of me and knowing I had right of way I proceeded at about 50mph toward the junction but as I reached it I saw that the other car started turning into the road. I have previously seen the results of other accidents at this junction and they have not looked good. Not only was I about to hit a car at 50mph but there were also a bollard and a lamp-post to the side of the road that I have seen other cars damaged by. I have also had a similar accident, many years ago, at 40mph and then I was knocked unconscious for a while, suffered temporary amnesia, and was in a lot of pain for about 5 months. “DON’T DO THAT!!!”, I shouted at the top of my voice as I slammed on the breaks unsure that I was going to see another thing in my life, feeling it ironic that Manoocher had just had a car accident a few days earlier. If you have never been in a car cash there is a strange sensation that you may be unaware of, and that is that time almost stands still for a few seconds. I swerved to try and get in front of the vehicle to avoid the passenger who was in my initial line of travel, then realising that, in spite of having had some kind of impact, I could still steer the car I looked for the bollard and lamp post and aimed the car for the kerb such that I thought it would not hit either, but knowing that the kerb was unavoidable. Kerbs can throw a car over or send them into dangerous spins, sometimes into other traffic. One last deep breath. A terrible smell of smoke. The road was louder, but I was sitting, the wind had been knocked out of me but I was still okay in my car, conscious, half on the kerb, the right way up. The other driver admitted it was his fault and seemed thankful that I had managed to manoeuvre such that everyone was okay. The other driver was planning to drive back to Cambridge following the crash so I hope there was no serious damage to his car. It was a very close call, the car is almost certainly a write-off, even though it drives, the side is dented from wheel-arch to wheel arch and the door is bent out of place at the top, but with everything that was going on the last two weeks I haven’t taken it to the garage yet. Ordinarily this would have been a frightening event in itself, but under the circumstances I just drove back to the hospital where I spent the rest of the night by Ladan’s side, which I enjoyed doing on the occasions I did it in the hospital, I would pray and just enjoy being quietly together through the night. A few hours of near-normality!
On November 4th this year 
The Zolpidem Question
October 12, 2007 in Comment, Ladan | 1 comment
I have previously mentioned that there were no dramatic results from using the medication with Ladan, but that there may have been some small changes. A full update should follow in the next week or two, but this entry is to explain the delay in reporting how I feel the trial went, and to give some indication of what happened during the trial. In this blog entry I am not going to differentiate between what was observed by staff and what was observed by family members.
Zolpidem is a short acting drug, it usually starts acting within 15 to 30 minutes and stops working after a few hours. About 15 minutes after the drug was administered Ladan would typically go through a period of increased rapid eye movements for a period of around 10 – 30 seconds, with her eyes closed, and then seem generally sleepy. She remained arousable by movement or speech, but was not generally as agitated when aroused. Ladan often has quite normal reflexes which are superseded by extensive behaviour (stretching out her arms and legs) if she remains disturbed or uncomfortable for a “prolonged” period. That “prolonged” period may be a matter of seconds, but can often be avoided if you react to the non-extensive reaction and remove the stimulation, or otherwise relax Ladan, soon enough. During the course of the medication Ladan was found to be generally less extensive and her reflexes appeared to be slightly better refined. Ladan’s individual fingers were, for example, felt to react better as individual fingers when touched rather than as a collection of fingers reacting together. There were also times when people felt Ladan was more alert or aware than usual, and that her reactions to speech were more natural. Most of the the possible differences that were observed were not new, but were either more frequent or, as in the case of being more relaxed and less extensive, more prolonged.
One of the more notable facts about most of the observations referred to above is that these “differences” were being observed throughout the whole time period of the trial, that is to say they were not limited to the few hours during which the drug would typically have an impact, the “difference” was still being noticed at least 21 hours after the drug had been given. I have three possible explanations for this, firstly it is possible that some of the “differences” were seen because they were being looked for, secondly I theorize that some part of the mind was put to rest by the tablet and that this enabled better reactions when the resting effect wore off (this would require a medical opinion, which I hope to get soon), my third explanation is that I was personally present more of the time. I have previously mentioned in blog entries that there appears to be a direct link between how settled Ladan is and how much time I spend with her. Many previous times where Ladan has seemed to be more aware have also followed on from an increased presence from myself. As I was arriving to be with Ladan from an hour to an hour and a half earlier each day and not popping out as often it is likely that at least some of the improvement would be down to this, rather than the medication.
So, following the two week trial Ladan had a week of how things were previously, and now I am trying to spend extra time with Ladan for a week to see what effect that has. It has so far proved difficult to spend the extra time with Ladan, so to get a farier comparative picture this might stretch on a little beyond one week. Once I have a better idea of the difference between “Ladan with more James” and “Ladan with Zolpidem and more James” I will be writing up a report on the differences for the relevant medical staff to look at. There is a small possibility that they will feel the medication may be worth trying for a longer time period, but otherwise there are other things that have had significant results on people in conditions similar to Ladan’s which I hope to research further and, if appropriate, discuss with Ladan’s doctor.
Tags: brain, consciousness, Ladan, mcs, pvs, zolpidem